Feb. 13, 2019 — After reading a joke on an email about fogey forgetfulness, I was motivated to write this true tale of woe.
Yesterday, I told Ralph that I was really mad that I hadn’t accomplished a damn thing all day!
Ralph scratched his head. “That simply isn’t true! Just think back at everything you’ve done. You’ll see.”
So, here’s my list.
Got up. Took a swim. Dried and dressed.
Couldn’t find bananas.
Ate breakfast anyway. Cleared the breakfast table while Ralph loaded the dishwasher. Answered emails.
Froze gravy and chicken to make a potpie later. Assembled and packed food to give to a friend.
Was temporarily indisposed. Combed hair. Brushed teeth. Lost sunglasses.
Looked for sunglasses but gave up.
Assisted Ralph in finding Friend’s house and avoiding hump in driveway. Delivered food. Hugged Friend and said we’d see each other soon.
Hung out with Ralph on his drive to the gas station and waited while the tank filled. Accompanied Ralph to buy oil for the car. Waited in the car.
Came home. Found glasses case and searched for sunglasses.
Instead, found bananas in pantry where I hid them from myself, under cards and papers that I whisked from the counter before guests arrived. The bananas were too rotten even for banana bread. (Unfortunately, I accused someone of stealing them!)
Disposed of the bananas.
Looked for sunglasses. Found the glasses next to the basin where I combed my hair.
Ralph grinned. “See! I told you that you had accomplished a lot, I counted 20 items on your list.”
What do you think? Did I?
The moral of the story: Something is not nothing.