Middle to high school love can be a risky maneuver


(Editor’s Note: Viewpoint submissions on this and other topics are always welcome as part of our goal to encourage community discussion and exchange of perspectives.)  

Feb. 13, 2019 — Hopefully by now you’ve all thought of a certain someone special and found the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day. However, I want to talk to you about young love.

Ah… young love. Whether it’s someone new or the one you’ve known for a while, you begin to feel something. But don’t be fooled by love, as it can cause trouble for both the child and the parent. People outside of school, you might remember someone from your class who was cute. You might’ve started to do special things for that certain someone. But your parents might have disapproved of the love — maybe even given you talks that you will eventually give to your own children some day.

Here are some things that can make young love a concern for a family.

 Family time may be difficult

Remember the days when it was you and your family at the table playing a board game or having a great meal together. Now, with the certain special someone in the mix, family time could be hindered or altered all together. You may rather spend time with your special friend instead of family, which can grow into concerns from parents. This is especially understandable if they haven’t met the other person’s family or friends.

With more time spent with a new significant other, the times of an entire family at the table may be over.

 Concern for your safety

If you are going to spend time at your new love’s house, your parents may want to get more information on the other family. Sure, it may seem intrusive, but nothing is more important to them than your safety. If you’re going out with someone already familiar to your family, then it will likely relieve some of the stress for your parents (assuming they approve of him/her). If not, your parents will be more cautious. Remember: They are there to guide you, not allow you to fall face-first into a pothole.

 Possibility of more

The biggest worry of every parent with a student in love is that their child will go too far with their significant other. While there have been class lessons about the dangers of intimacy or even having a baby while in school, they realize their student may not care about those lessons because — let’s be honest — they’re often boring and dull like a lot of other school lessons.

Sure, when you were first given “The Talk,” it may have been uncomfortable. But it also gave you some important precautions about love and getting too serious. This is vital information to talk about with your family.

Now, for you young ones that have found your “sweet babboo,” whether it was just a few days or a couple of years ago, love isn’t bad. But it can cause problems in your current life if you don’t handle it well. I’m not saying avoid romance; it’s just a matter of accepting how much responsibility you have in a relationship.

Here are some things that could happen if you focus on love too much.

 Your grades

While this may seem to be a boring statement, it can have unintended consequences. Spend too much time daydreaming about your Sweet Babboo, and while your love dreams go up, your grades go down. This is pretty important because you need to have good grades in order to go onto the next grade.

Sometimes the amount of school work will not give you time for relationships. And it may be easier to put love on hold until after high school rather than having to juggle a relationship as well. It may seem like disappointing advice, but over time you will continue to grow and mature to gain a better understanding of how to manage love and your time.

 Loss of connection between friends

Being with your friends can be fun. Whether it’s bowling, attempting to make the next internet trend or binge-watching a popular show on Netflix. However, if you spend too much time with your sweet one (or binge-watching, for that matter), you may start to lose touch with your friends. They may start to think that your significant other is your top priority and may start leaving you out.

 The dreaded break-up

We’re still young and learning, which is why love can be a bit of a risk to take in your pre-adulthood years. Your current relationship may be perfect for the moment. But as time goes on, changes are in the air. Your likes and interests may change, or may even feel trapped trying too hard to keep them impressed. As the lyric goes in Smash Mouth’s song, I’m A Believer, “But the more I gave the less I got, oh yeah.” This can lead to changes in what you want from your relationship — and the dreaded middle or high-school breakup.

While it is possible that a high school couple can last into the late years, those chances are pretty low, and that doesn’t automatically make an excuse for having a significant other.

And besides, once you’ve matured, you’ll have a better approach to relationships.

This article isn’t meant to put down anyone that may have a special someone at a young age. Love and attraction are inevitable, and love can take on many shapes and forms that can help you grow. It’s OK to feel affection towards someone. It’s just a matter of maturity you have in order to handle it.

Don’t worry though. For many of us, we eventually find the certain someone that we truly love. With that, I would like to say: Happy Valentine’s Day.

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